Today I turned 41! My brain doesn't feel 41, I still like fart jokes! But my body feels like an 80 year old. My boys are doing their best to keep me young. We run around all day either at the park or just out for walks and visiting all their grandparents. When it comes time for their nap, it is also time for me to nap. Otherwise I cannot function.
That is what I get angry about. I am not angry often about my situation. In the last week or so I have gotten angry because I have been so exhausted. More than usual. Just a few weeks ago I was not taking naps and getting a bit of housework done. I even got to work with my glass again. That gave me some hope! Now I am just back to napping with the boys again. My house is a mess. I can't stand being in it. And that gets me angry and a little depressed.
I have hope that the doctors will find a way to help me manage this cancer, but some days it is just hard to hold on to that hope. These days where every bone in my body aches. I can't sit for long, can't stand or even sleep for long. It is frustrating. It is those days I look to my family and friends for support and they are there! I have the best family and the best support system a person could ask for. I am thankful for the life I have had so far and for what I will do in the future.